I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately. And praying. Of course at my age, lately can mean anytime in the last few years. My closer focus on prayer began a few years ago when the pastor I worked for in Boise, Bruce Young, taught a series on the great pray-ers of the Bible. That's pray-ers. I came to realize that prayer is not an event, or an activity - it's a lifestyle. In his letter to the church at Thessalonica, the apostle Paul exhorted them - and, by extension, us - to pray continually, or, as it was translated by the scholars assigned by King James at the opening of the 17th century, "without ceasing". How do you do that? If one were to attempt to pray in the manner of most Christians, which I used to do, the unceasing string of clichés would numb the senses and lull even the most ardent believers into a befuddling torpor. We rightly cast aspersions on religious adherents who write their requests on slips of paper to twirl in the breeze, while we use words over and over that add no meaning or depth. Just saying. Or perhaps that should be: saying "just". And do we really think that the more times we use one of God's names or titles in our prayers, the greater will be our blessing? Do we really think at all? These are questions I've asked myself, and the answers have caused me to seriously evaluate my prayer life.
So I've stopped. Not praying, but praying like I used to. This is in an effort to be more aware of what prayer is, and what it is not. Some scripture that has begun to illuminate my thinking in addition to I Thessalonians 5:17 quoted above includes Matthew 5:5-8 - (in the Message) "And when you come before God, don't turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat? Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace. The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need." And Galatians 6:6 - (in the New King James) "And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, 'Abba, Father!'" The Message courageously translates that as "Papa". That's equivalent to Dad, or even Daddy, in our vernacular.
Now I originally learned these passages in the old English of King James, so reading them afresh in current lingo helps them to break through the foggy curtain of "I've heard it all before."
What I've learned, or am learning, is that in my life an awful lot of what I considered to be praying was actually performance. Especially when praying with others. So I've stopped. I no longer seek out opportunities to pray so others can hear me. This may change in God's time, but for now it helps me to focus on trying to grow in my communication with my Father.
I once asked a friend why he prayed before a meal in a restaurant, and, after recovering from apoplexy, he answered that it was so people around him would know he was a Christian. So I've stopped. It seems to me the primary purpose of prayer is communication with God, not other people. If you are thankful to God for your meal, by all means let him know it. If you are concerned with the eternal destiny of the souls at the next table, find a good way to let them know that - don't make them guess.
I'm beginning to realize that the "quiet, secluded place" ("closet" in the KJV) isn't necessarily geographic. It can and should be an attitude of the heart. It's possible to commune with God all the time by including him in every activity, conversation, and occasion of life. After all, if he is there, as we believe he is, then maybe we ought to act like it. I'm finding it easier and easier to make him part of all that happens, and to talk to him like he's really there.
And then there's the posture: Close your eyes, bow your head, kneel down, lift your head, open your eyes, stand up, hold your arms up, rock back and forth, lie flat on the ground, do them all at once. Is God listening more now? If it helps your focus, as it can with small children, to close your eyes while praying, then do so. I found it didn’t help me. So I’ve stopped. For me, the awareness of all that's around me where God is and all the circumstances of my life brings into sharper focus my relationship to him, my need of him, and my desire to know him better and communicate with him better.
When I was a kid they said prayin'
Was just close your eyes, bow your head.
But I’ve put away childish things
'Cause that's not what Jesus said.
When you pray, go into your closet,
Shut the door, pray secretly.
And the Father who sees you in secret
Will reward you openly.
(from Rewards © Neal Visser 1987)
This whole "Abba" thing has always seemed a little odd to me, especially since "Momma Mia". Sorry - couldn't resist. But actually it sounds rather foreign to my ear, so most of my life I've ignored this verse. (Which brings up the whole issue of: If you say you believe something, but don't live as if you do, does that make you a liar? And a sinner? But we'll save that for a discussion of faith.) For most fathers it's a truly momentous occasion when their gurgling little baby first says, "Dada", or "Papa", or "Abba". Those of us in whom God's Spirit resides are considered by him to be that same lovable, adorable offspring. But we, being grown up and all, want to prove our maturity, so we only refer to him as "Father". If I had come to my physical Dad and called him Father repeatedly - like every three or four words - he would have wondered what had happened to me, or, more likely, why I had chosen this silly way of addressing him. To me at least it seems God's reaction may be similar. So I've stopped. That verse above says it's his spirit in me that cries out, "Abba", "Papa", "Dad". So I might as well, too.
We all tend to look for the method or words or style that might enable our prayers to be more effective. This can be a trap. I know because it was for me. Sam over there seems so much more spiritual than I am, so maybe if I copy his phrasing, his words, his repetitions, then my prayers will be more certain to get answered. But they won't. They can't. If you are truly talking to God yourself as yourself, he hears you, and he answers. You may not like the answer, but that's also a subject for another time. The point is God knows us; we're his kids. He wants us to be genuine with him - just be ourselves. Like I would with my Dad.
I remember Rick Warren saying on more than one occasion that the most dangerous prayer a Christian can pray is this, "Use me." My version of that is, "Hi Dad! Watcha doin'? Can I help?"